PSALM 143

Cross referencing verse 3 there are a bunch of verses about being overwhelmed, distressed, and seemingly unable to continue.  They talk about being in a dark place with a cloud overhead and the feeling of my soul being in prison.  Then to Galatians 4:6-9 where You have sent us Your Spirit and we are now sons and daughters, slaves no longer.  Verse 9 then questions, why would we go back to the former things which caused us to be in bondage.  I so want to receive Your grace and hold onto it, but every time I am about to it seems Satan, or something, is right there to remind me of how often I have failed and I should be ashamed of myself.  I want to choose right.  I want to live free, to enjoy You fully.  I want to make my life, my decisions, big or small ALL about You.  But I so often choose wrong, knowingly and many times willfully.  I just cannot seem to get any traction, any momentum.  As soon as I have a victory I fall flat on my face, again, with another sinful decision.  I can’t seem to listen and do what You are asking me to do.  Why can’t I seem to break this unending cycle?  Why is saying “Yes” to You so hard right now?


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